What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What's worse than getting hit by an arrow in the knee? Being kidnapped for 10 years and finally getting free only to find out your whole family was murdered by the person who kidnapped you.

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

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Why does a trash can smell bad? Because there's trash in it.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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Why did the man fall over? he had a stroke.

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Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

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What is big and white, not the moon CC

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If all the world was like Jesus...wouldn't we all die on crosses?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it noticed that there may be foodstuffs on other side.

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Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

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Why was the blonde crying? Because she just watched her infant get sucked into a jet engine and she was very sad.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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Roses are red. I had no clue. I like pie. So screw you.

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There is a tiger in front of you a lion behind you and a bear beside you what do you do? Get of the marry go round

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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whats worse than your brother dying in a car accident? finding out the rest of your family was in there

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What is a question?

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Two black people fall off a cliff, who hits the ground first? Who Cares?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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