A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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Why was Michelle crying? I don't know. Neither do I.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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What is white on the top and black on the bottom? Society

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Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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What did the three bears say when rhey discovered goldilocks? Nothing. They mauled her to death.

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Tennesse

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whats worse than bitting into a apple a finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just killed noddy who was hiding in ur apple

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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How do you keep an extraordinary magician from performing his show? Replace his shampoo with battery acid

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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What do you call a man with no legs and arms hanging on your wall? Art

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How are Polish people and dogs the same? They aren't. One is a human being, and one is a dog. Do not be stupid.

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What's worse than finding Michael V. in your class? Finding Curtis W. in there instead\

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple, finding a apple in your worm.

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Amy Winehouse has been sober for 2 weeks now.

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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A patient walks into a clinic and says, "Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replies, "I have no interest in whether or not you feel like purchasing items to spruce up your home."

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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How many Wal-Mart employees does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, assuming he can reach it safely.

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What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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