How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

Yo mama so fat she has an increased risk of blood clots!

Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

RULES: #1) have fun #2) safety first

Every 60 seconds in Africa, a Minute passes.

Blonde Entrepeneurs

A man has aids. He has plenty of sexual partners and they all contract the disease.

Nathan Gooderson.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

A man goes to the doctor suspecting he might have erectile dysfunction. The doctor raises an eyebrow and asks, "Does it come up a lot?" "No."

How are eagles and jellyfish the same? They both fly but jellyfish don't.

A man and woman are out to eat on their first date. When the woman goes to pay, the man explains that he will cover the cost of the meal. That's a good thing because the woman didn't actually have any money. This happens all the time.

stop it ryan vallee

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

A man was jumped by two muggers and fought like hell, but was finally subdued. His attackers then stabbed him. He later died from his injuries.

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

What time is it? Actually, that sentence is grammatically wrong: what is IT?

why didn't the black kid make the basketball team? He has cancer.

What do you call a former pope. Dead!

Knock Knock. Come in.

-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

World Peace

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...