What is the answer to the universe? I would tell you but you would get board.

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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Ask me if I'm in a tree? No.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSUCKMYDICK

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Frown is a four letter word.

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A blind man accidentally walks into another man whilst walking along a sidewalk. The man yells at the blind man, "Watch where you're going!" He then apologizes for his rude behaviour, not noticing right away he was in fact, blind. To show how truthfully sorry he was he took him out for beers the following evening. Soon after they became close friends and now share an apartment in Denver, Colorado.

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Du bist mein Kampf

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A terrorist walks into a bar and shoots the bartender.

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How did the dead baby cross the road? stapled to the chickens foot.

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How do you confuse a blond? Ask her to solve ( [3x - 3x^2 +1]^744 ) x ( [- 3x + 3x^2 +1]^745 )

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How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

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Q: what happens when you throw a red rock into a blue lake? A: a splash.

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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