How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

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Why do people always walk so slow when your in a rush to get somewhere? They don't it just seems like that

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What do you call bad anti-jokes? Suckish comedy What do you call suckish comedy? Bad anti-jokes

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Say, "Wake up!"

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A Banana wrote this...

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What did the Catholic Priest do to the 9-year-old boy? He ate him. The priest was actually Jeffery Dahmer.

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

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Today, we will be identifying power tools. This is not a drill.

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm horny and your bodily figure is very attractive Get naked

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If I lock you in a room and let a snake in under the door, what do you get? A problem.

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Robocop and T-800 where fighting, first the T-800 manages to injure Robocop critically, but Robocop manages to repair himself and break T-800`s legs off, which T-800 suddenly regrows due to an unexpected upgrade. After several hours of combat, where civilians are injured and half the town is destroyed they where both worn out, but ready for one last struggle... ...Eventually there was a great celebration for whoever won.

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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Whats worse than the holocaust??having a downstndrome for a child

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This is probably how President Obama proposed to his wife. "I don't wanna be Obama self"

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Knock Knock Come in. Come in who? You're a dumbass.

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Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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That moment when you touch your balls then sniff your fingers and realize it smells good.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Michael Jordan? Their last names.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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A 36 year old Canadian woman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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