Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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That moment where the screen shouts "HE MAN" And you look at the guy and go... Hmm did they say He-Man or She-Man? HE MAN!

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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Why does Kony kidnap infants? To create an Infantry

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Q: How many cantaloupes can you fit into Jackie Chan's basement? A: 4

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

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what do you get when you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientists a mutant chicken

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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DIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDIEDIEDIEIDEIDIEIDEIIDIE DIE all of you Hahahaha

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops