Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

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How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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Looks through the peephole.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

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Why don't they sell aspirin in the jungle? Because it is not financially viable to sell pharmaceuticals in a largely unpopulated area.

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How did Helen Kellers parents punish her? They moved the furniture.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

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roses are red, violets are violet

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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A muslim bought tickets for a 3pm flight. It was 11am, so in the mean time, he went to a bar to loosen up. His bomb vest accidently went off early, killing everyone in the bar. The flight arrived on-time in San Fransico.

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no u

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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AHAHAHAHAHA XD I cant for the life of me imagine Donald Duck accusing anyone of being a seducer XD, my eyes are tearing up XD If I do not type anything more, its because I died of laughter and joy XD But those "cartoons" where made for adults, ever seen steamboat Willie? That is one of my favorites, I always liked Mickey Mouse a bit better, Donald kinda changed a lot.

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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How is it called a black man piloting a plane? Pilot, you racist!

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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