Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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I saw a chameleon. Then it died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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What's black and white and red all over? A nun in a blender.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because she was blind and deaf.

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Knock knock whos there punctuation

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Sudden Infant Death Syndrome.

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What do black people and apples have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

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Why did the boy have cable? I don't know.

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What's grey and looks good on policemen? your mom.

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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women leaving the kitchen

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Women"s Rights

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Hey guys wanna here a joke? Never mind it was a gay joke but f**k it.

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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