Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

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Why did Obama win the president election He had a greater amount of votes that Jonh mccain

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There's some good news and some bad news. The bad news is there isn't any good news.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's blind? No, because he's dead

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Whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer

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slow down! you move too fast. you gotta make the morning last. just tripping down the cobblestones. looking for fun and feeling grovvy.

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Why was the chimp late for his flight? Because chimps arent allowed through airport security.

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

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What happened september 11th, 2001 It was my first time snorkoling in Hawaii

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WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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What's the difference between a duck? An armchair because the vest has no sleeves.

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A woman comes at the doctor.

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What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Hi Jacob You cool

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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why did the chicken cross the road? To prove to the possum it can be done.

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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what do you get when you throw a refrigerator at a boy on a bike? a severely injured boy, a lawsuit , a police record and a prison mate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops