The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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baby loves lalma

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the bird

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Paul Dylan King!

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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My wife crashed the car while listening to Adele last night. She ended up rolling in the jeep.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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h

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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why would you thank the KKK because they killed the president

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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what did the boy from a computer recycling unit in china get on his birthday? Pancreatic cancer.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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69

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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What did the German say to the Jew? I'm not quite sure; I don't speak German.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 8 9

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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What's the best position to be in while being attacked by a bear? invisible

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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