did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

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MICHAEL

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Hey, we're both lawyers.

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What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

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What's up? The sky.

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4023145287

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A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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chuck norris's tears cure cancer, to bad chuck norris never cries

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

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Your Mom

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knock knock, who's there, white, white who, white van, RUN!

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The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

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Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

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A friend asks his buddy, "Hey, what's your favorite color?" Buddy slowly turns his head and stares intensely at the only black person in the room and says," "White." Buddy has never been called racist.

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What's orange and hurts when you get it in your eye? An orange knife.

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How come George hit his face when he fell? He had no arms.

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Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

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knock, knock . whos there? the police. get the hell outside !

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Did you know that there is no A is "sodimizing"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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