How did the stapeler disappear? I ate it.

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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What do you call a fat ethiopian. Impossible

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What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he wasn't happy!

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what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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Q:Why did the man get hit by the car? A:He was standing on the road.. ;DDD

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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A Jew picked up a penny. He thought his beard matched the guy on the coin.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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You know what isn't funny? AIDS. You know what is? Brittany Spears with AIDS...

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without laughing try to say " i hate bubble" with a dull face

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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What is Helen Keller's dogs name? She had fish.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops