Hickory Dickory Dock mother is a whore

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what do you call a black man named mike

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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What is the main contrast about different banks? None, they all take your money!

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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Chuck Norris.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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B: Laro tayo . G: Anong laro ? B: Taguan . G: Bakit ngayon pa ? B: Because tonight will be the night that i will fall for you . G: Ulet ? B: Over again . G: Wag na ! B: Don't make me change my mind . G: Bukas na lang . B: I won't live to see another day . G: Weh ? Di nga ? B: I swear its true . G: Bakit kasi taguan pa ? B: Because a girl like you is impossible to find . G: Ano ? B: You're impossible to find . ? :)

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue.

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

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Q. On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you? A. 69.

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Wanna hear a joke about a germ? Sorry I don't want to spread it! -LEts Go Mets!

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Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream..... But Leonardo DiCaprio had a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream.

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knock, knock Sho'sthere? Sam who? Sam Butt

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A jew, a catholic and an atheist are in the desert. They see a dusty lamp. They take it and rub it. Once the lamp is clean, they put it back on the sand and kep walking.

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how do you fall off a building? you trip.

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What's worst then the holocaust, titanit and 9-11 4 bee stings.

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What do you call a tree with all of it's branches down? A tree with all of it's branches down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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