What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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a little girl is playing outside of her house when i man in a van approaches her and stops to ask if the girl will help him find his puppy and that he has some gandy. seeing as the girl has a great love for animals she gets in the van. the man and the little girl drive around until they find the puppy. the man is so overjoyed her rewards the girl with candy. he then drives her back to her house and she feels wonderful having helped the man find his puppy. the end.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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What do you call a needle with two points? A two headed needle.

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Why din't the boy get a Christmas present? Because his dad go hit by a bus.

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a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

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What do you call a black guy with a fan? An African American male Homo Sapien who is most likely hot and sweaty and is probably trying to create cold air and then reduce how hot they are likely reducing the sweat glands natural instict to create ameliorate of sweat and then make him feel better.

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One time I went into a haunted house. It was just pretend ghosts but then I saw a real ghost there. It was scary.

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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What is green and red and spins around? A frog in a blender

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Why did the man drink water? Because he was thirsty

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What do you call a black guy driving a plane? Jamal

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What did the black father say to his daughter? you're adopted

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Have you ever noticed that when geese fly in a V, one side is long than the other? Do you know why that is? There are more geese on that side

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Two cougars are at a nightclub. Suddenly, they attack and 8 patrons are mauled to death.

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A zucchini is walking down the street, when he spots a cucumber club on his left hand side. Having nothing else to do he decides to walk in. When he walks into the club all of the cucumbers stop and stare at this strange being in their club. Finally, after having one too many drinks, one cucumber decides that this ridiculousness has gone on long enough and it is up to him to say something, so he goes up to the zucchini and says, "Hey buddy, what's your problem, clearly you are in a cucumber club and you're a zucchini." The zucchini just looks at him, puzzled, and responds " A cucumber club? I thought this was a ucumber club!!!!!"... It's funny because zucchinis are dyslexic.

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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The duck says do you smell poop. Ya says the chicken, it wasn't me It was the turkey

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ps3

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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