Question: How many rocks does it take to make a pancake? Answer: Tree.

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

If I had a dollar for every funny joke on this site... I would have quite a few dollars. I would't be rich, but I'd have enough money to pay for me and three friends to go see a movie. So I'm talking like $40-$55, give or take. However, do keep in mind that that cost does not include the purchase of any popcorn/food/beverages.

Wanna hear a joke? A joke.

Chuck norris eats nails for breakfast. This is most likely the cause of his bleeding stomach and acid reflux.

Susie has Autism

What did the downs syndrome say when he walked into the bar? 'nbgzsbjndjgtbnsuzhvcghvdhjdtv.' He has downs syndrome

robin, get in the car.

- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

Kah-________-

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

what is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? one has to deal with a butt

Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

What did the leper say to the prostitute? Hello Prostitute.

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

According to standard table etiquette what is rude when someone passes you the salt? Jamming a fork in their eye

A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

How many small children does it take to change a light bulb? None. Children are not old enough to do this by themselves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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