A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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ha.

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What's easier to get than a broke prostitute on the side of the street? Osama Bin Laden.

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Commercials lie: I think that they do believe it's not butter!

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Why can't helen keller skii? Because she's dead

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

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wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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What noise does a dead dog make ? Nothing its dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was disowned by his family due to his drug addiction and had nowhere else to go.

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Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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What's white and very boney? A bone

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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