How did Helen Keller meet her husband? On a blind date.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Onions stink. And so do you.

What's the worst thing a 13 year old could do? Have their Bar Mitzvah in Nazi Germany.

roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

a redheaded man walks into a bar. he is wanted for raping and murdering 13 children

Paul Dylan King!

Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

I used to walk in front of archers, but then I took an arrow to the knee.

What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? I threw a refrigerator at it

what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

What is worse than a Catholic priest being caught red handed raping 7 kids? 1. Thou shall not steal. 2. Thou shall be kindeth to thy neigbour... 3. Not attending to church is a sin... Moral: Catholic priests need to get their priorities straight... or gay, just not pedo!

Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

Behind every fat girl is a beautiful woman. No, seriously. Get out of the way.

Roses are red Violets are blue who are you kidding, violets are violet

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

What's better than Westboro Church? Committing over 9000 sins.

Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin getting crushed by a sledgehammer.

Two goldfish are sat in a tank, one says to the other 'I forgot who you are' to which the other replies 'I forgot what you said'.

how many babies can you fit in a bass drum? 19.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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