What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

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A fat boy walked into a party

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What sucks?

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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What do a duck and an elephant have in common? They're both yellow. Except for the elephant.

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What smells like marjuana and is black? A black man smoking weed

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What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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gay rights

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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Why did the basketball player shoot the ball? Because it was being mean to him

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What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

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Why did my son fall off of his bicycle? Because I hit him with a steak.

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Contrary to popular statement, "When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," you technically can't do this because of the need for water and sugar to make lemonade. Secondly, life can't technically hand you lemons because life isn't a physical thing that can hand you lemons. So really, you don't even have to worry about the second two ingredients.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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What do you call a muslim? A terrorist

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Why did the chicken attempt to cross the road? To retrieve his dead relatives in the middle of the street.

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Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops