A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the boy do when he was bored and broke? He took to the streets selling illicit drugs such as cocaine. Although dangerous, the rush from said danger solved his boredom problem. On top of this, there is a huge market for such substances and he was not broke for much longer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

as i unscrewed my belly button and suddenly my butt fell off

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do you call a black guy flying a helicopter? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man throw the clock out the window? Because he was angry and frustrated with the people in his life, and the ringing clock was the first thing he noticed in his depressed rage.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

On a scale of 1 to Chris Brown, how mad would you be if i ate your golfish? Very angry, as my goldfish is not food.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

who smells? •Liam

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock What

thumb_up thumb_down +10

My Japanese girlfriend left me the other day... I am now depressed and have resorted to comfort eating.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why did the cookie go to the docter he felt crumpie

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Not much of an anti joke but here we go... - What do you get when you cross a jew and a potato? - A Baked potato!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

thumb_up thumb_down +10

- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I ate a pancake for breakfast not

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Doris fall down the stairs? Because she was a stupid, uncoordinated old hag with no control over her bladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

is mayonnaise an instrument?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the black man buy at the fruit shop? Some bananas.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops