what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Adam Sandler.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well, if the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are due to transportation issues. (What if there are no replacement light bulbs in the house, and the nearest store was 10 miles away? It would be ridiculous to expect someone to walk twenty miles to replace a light bulb) In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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Rebecca Black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

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what did the black guy get for christmas? a car because he really wanted one.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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96

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A horse walks into a bar, the bar tender says: why the long face? Horse: I have cancer

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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A: ask me if I'm a truck. B: why? A: just ask me. B: are you a truck? A: no.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Q: Why did the man have no legs? A: He lost them when his humvee hit a roadside bomb during his last tour in Iraq.

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What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? -Hey! Where's my tractor?

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Banana(s)

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Bin Laden comes out of a cave

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What is brown and sticky?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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