What do you get when you cross a polar bear and a vampire? A Vampire Polar Bear.

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What is worse than finding 10 dead babies nailed to a tree? Finding 1 dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Roses are red Dead bodies are blue You can't see me But I see you

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Regress.

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Q: Why was Sally sad? A: Because she had no arms or legs. Knock Knock, Who's there? Not Sally.

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Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

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What did Chuck Norris say to the boy? Sure I'll sign your t-shirt!

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What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Who're you gonna' call when you're apartments being ravaged by ghosts? Your doctor, for you might have schizophrenia.

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Why was there a lion in the bathroom? Because I threw a refrigerator at it and stapled a frog to its butthole, all while it was being chased by a 10 foot scorpion and a purple salmon that only had 1 eye.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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I am Skaldak!

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biggest lie in the world. I love you grandma.

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Why didn't suzie go to school yesterday? She was brutally hacked into pieces and now she"ll never experience school again

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I'm not here.

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what do you call a black pilot? a pilot

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How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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What do you call a black man with gold teeth? Crunchie

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Roses are red, I want a gravestone, nobody loves me, forever alone

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the WNBA

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a horse walks into a bar except it wasn't a horse it was Sarah Jessica Parker

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Why do Mexicans like to eat burritos? Because they are delicious, and very filling.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops