Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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Why did the black guy fail his math test? Because he did not study enough and as a result was no prepared to take a test on that material.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from a sky-scraper Q:he dies

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his wife and kids.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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I'm not here.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Oh hot damn, this is my jam. Strawberry, to be specific.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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