What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

thumb_up thumb_down +4

mitchell likes balls in his mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

yaa tsi tsup ari dik ari dull an dik ari dill an dits tan dool la dippyduppy dull la roop uttyroopy la goorigan gook aya gittygangool arup cha cha adippydappydill la baritztandill lan den lan doe a barik kata barip pari baribadeebadeebadee standen lan doe ya baril las ten lan day a doe la babadeadevadevadevaduv ya vou what is that little las day lan doe badakadagadaga doo doo day a doe

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

thumb_up thumb_down +109

Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

thumb_up thumb_down +83

I'm not here.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

What's the best anti joke? this one

thumb_up thumb_down -18

What did the boy Tell to his friends? Nothing. He has noone.

thumb_up thumb_down -74

A blond and a brunette fall off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? Neither. They hit the ground at the exact same time due to the laws of physics

thumb_up thumb_down -100

A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your moms so dumb she stuffed a battery up her butt and said i got the POWA!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A pregnant woman goes to the hospital to deliver a baby. It is born perfectly normal and healthy, the doctor looks at the mother and father offering them congratulations as he hands them a 9 lb 10 oz baby boy. The mother wanted a girl, but she instead develops post part em depression. She goes through years of psychotherapy to again become well adjusted, her second child is a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down +65

What do you call it when 1 person has an imaginary friend? A mental disorder. What do you call it when 1 billion people have an imaginary friend? A Religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

waiter: can I get you something to drink? customer: I'll have a coke. waiter: is pepsi okay? customer: is monopoly money okay?

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A gay dyslexic black man walks in to a bar the bar tender say "what'll it be" and then he orders his drink and pays his bill and leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Roses are red Dead bodies are blue You can't see me But I see you

thumb_up thumb_down +104

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops