Left. That one direction...

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What did the grandson inherit when his grandmother died? Nothing, they both were killed in a tragic car accident.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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How do you wake up lady gaga? You poker face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are not very intelligent and was scared by a shadow. The chicken's survival instincts caused it to cross the road, away from the shadow. The chicken crossed the road safely, and is now happily pecking at worms.

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Q: What do you call a plane with no wings? A: An unfinished plane.

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what is black and white and red all over.....a nun being murdered

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Why did Mary fall of the tire swing? Because she's a dumbass

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What did the poor guy get for christmas? The homeless guy.

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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is mayonnaise an instrument?

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If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

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What is the best school in Victoria? Lyndale.

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Funny joke to play on an elderly woman: Take her cane and push her In front of a bus.

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Period Blood

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How do you starve a black family? Hide there government assistance card under their work boots!

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Did you know Dr Pepper isn't really a doctor?

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What's even faster than the speed of light? The speed you close out of porn when you hear someone coming into the room.

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I have alzheimers but atleast I don't have alzheimers

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What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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"Up to 50% off."

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An old lady and her son walk into a hospital, only to find it covered in TRICERITOPS SHIT!!!!

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven shot up his school and ate nine kids. Also before he was arrested he told six he was going to blow his brains out. Then he murdered the police and has been on the run ever since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops