Chuck Norris can get a nuke in Black Ops.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats long and hard on a black man..... 2nd grade

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the town guard say to the adventurer? "I used to be an adventurer like you, but then I got a full-time job so that I could support my family and spend more time with my children."

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the man say to the other man? You smell nice today.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A man walks into a bar and says, "Ow."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

thumb_up thumb_down +19

That guy is so lame, he needs a wheelchair to go places.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy walks into a bar. He puts an icepack on his head so it doesn't swell, and decides to go out for a drink. He walks into a bar and thinks to himself, "that's twice today, maybe I should just go home."

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Noobz -wondering why your valid anti-joke is getting voted down? Simply because it's a repeat, someone else has already submitted it. Only the original is valid for positive to votes. The regulars on here willallvote a repeat down immediately. I have 3 accounts set upwith different IP's just to do that. You have been warned. Search first mo fo's

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a muslim behind the controls of an airliner? A pilot you rascist.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A plane crashed in the rainforest. The survivors all buried themselves because no survival equipment were left and they all sought to kill themselves in their deep state of shock and fear.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man went to the doctor and told him he was having the strangest dream. "First I was a tee pee Then I was a wigwam A tee pee, a wigwam. Do you have any idea what could be wrong?" The doctor looked at the man and said "You have aids."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Teacher- "Sally Sue, a sentence that starts with I, please."\ Sally Sue- "I is..." Teacher- "no, no, Sally Sue, when you start with I, you must follow it with am." Sally Sue- "I am the 9th letter of the alphebet."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

- How do you keep an idiot in suspense? - How? -......

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

That maternal figure of yours is of such inadequate intelligence that she cannot fathom that, given a scatterplot with a linear correlation of greater than -1 and lesser than 1 and a reasonably consistent rise over run, a future value along the y-axis can be predicted if following the y=a(x)+b equation.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the Mexican cross the road? He was on his way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was just running to his car you racist.....after he had robbed the bank

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops