- Anti Joke

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qg6AkhIYVs

Why did the boy hate his bicycle and soccer ball he got for Christmas? The boy didn't have legs. He also hated sports. By the way he was black but that doesn't matter, he still hated sports. Who in the right mind would give a cripple inappropriate toys? Probably a racist Santa Claus. Oh by the way, Santa Claus is not real. So did they return the presents after the boy found out what it was? Yes, and it turns out the boy got a guitar and piano instead. Too bad the boy is also deaf.

If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? A bad decision because soccer is in their blood

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

What did the orphan boy get for his birthday? The extermination of his race.

What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

What's the difference between me and a ghost? Ghosts aren't Dolphins!

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

What is green and red all over? The Hulk's Penis in a blender

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

8=D