why didn't bobby eat breakfast? because i stapled his head to the floor

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What's up? A direction...

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What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

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How did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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What is red, and bucket shaped? A red bucket.

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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a dog walks into a drug store and orders a bone. what does the cashier do? she wakes up.

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What do you call a woman not in the kitchen? Her name.

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have a Gun Get in the Van

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure. Ok.

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Who has downs this joke

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What was the beauty pageant contestant with a bladder control problem told by the judges? You’re an 8.

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antijokes

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What do you call a black man digging a hole in the ground with a body covered in blood, bruises and stab marks next to him? An gardener, he uses a different type of fertiliser.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Orange What? Orange Who the hell are you and what do you want? Orange I am calling the police if you do not get off my doorstep in 5 seconds you a$$hole

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Why did the leper go back into the shower? he missed a spot.

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Whats worse than receiving a dollar? Receiving a penny.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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lol this is the best joke ever!

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Q: What were Peter's emotions after he bought his $2 million house? A: None, in fact he has no home, family and anyone to help him. his leg is pinned down by a large piece of metal that fell on him while looking for food to eat at a construction site, expect him to die of bleeding in the next 24 hours.

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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A black man hailed a taxi cab. He got in, and the taxi drove him to his destination for an appropriate fee.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops