What sucks?

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

Three blondes walk into a community college.

How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

You are driving a bus. At the first stop, 12 people get on and 7 get off At the second stop, 13 people get on and 11 get off At the third stop, 7 people get off the bus. You turn the bus off get out and go home.

what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

Knock knock. Who's there? Interrupting doctor. Interrupting doct- You have cancer.

what do you get when you cross a pig with a bunny? Nothing.Crossing a pig with a bunny is impossible.

Whats another word for Thesaurus?

anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

Adam gives a new view of roid rage

Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

Yes. Just Yes.

What do you call a wine-o? A Alco-colic.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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