Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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Roses are red, violets are red, daffodils are yellow, and pansies are pink.

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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Q: what's red and goes up and down? A: a tomato in an elevator

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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I still remember the last words my grandpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. He said, "Hey. how far do you think I can kick this bucket."

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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Q: What's worse than 10 dead babies in a tree? A: I'm sure there are lots of things.

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Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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Why can't dinosaurs talk? Because they're dead.

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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How did Suzy die She choked on a Pick-Up Truck

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cms.......?????

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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what do you call a animal with 3 horns. a triceratops

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Why wouldn't the man in a wheelchair see out the window? The curtains were closed

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What's better than winning a Gold Medal in the Special Olympics? Not being handicapped in the first place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops