Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Immediately following his inauguration, Bush called Obama into the oval office for a private meeting and some words of advice. Bush and Obama shook hands as gentlemen do and then Bush asked if Obama wanted to hear a joke. Obama eagerly said yes, "Good..." Bush said, handing Obama a battered copy of the United States Constitution, "...the joke is in your hands", and with that Bush turned and left.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down -34

How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

A day without sunshine is like night.

thumb_up thumb_down -68

What's white and very boney? A bone

thumb_up thumb_down +75

What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

What do you call an anti joke with no punchline?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What is so sad about 5 black people going over a cliff in a Cadaliac? That was my Cadaliac

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did Steven Hawking say to God after he died? Nothing. He can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did the jelly baby go to school? Because he was brought up in a middle class background and wanted a full education to further his future career

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A fish swims into a wall. Says dam.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What's the difference between a lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a lamborghini in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why couldn't Simon run? Because he had Cerebral Palsy.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a wild dog on the other side, so he crossed the road to avoid potential danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops