How do you make a teacher cry? Shit in their water bottle.

How big is Justin Bieber's penis? 10 inches, and its in his ass, and its actually Usher's penis

Have you heard the story of the empty room? Theres nothing in it.

Why did hitler need glasses? Because he could Nazi.

Roses are burning, Violets are burning, my house is on fire

What did one baby say to the other? Nothing, they were both killed in a building collapse.

what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

why did the man paint his house? because he never wanted to paint his house

What's worse than your mother dying in a car crash? Your father dying in the same crash.

whats the difference between a Jew and Santa Santa's magical.

why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

save water shower with friends

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

A seven year-old boy was jumping on a trampoline. He landed awkwardly and broke his ankle. This then became infected and caused him to be permenantly paralysed.

Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down.

A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

Why did the woman have sex with the man? Because she is over 18, which is above all of the legal consent ages in the United States.

What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her statement.

you know what they say about people with big feet, they have big feet...

What's brown and sticky? Poo

Why do black people call white people "Niggas"? Because they took an overdose of KFC and watermelon, they're actually just insulting themselves.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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