A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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A white man and a black man play a game of basketball, who wins? It depends who's better

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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Roses are black biolets are black I colorblind

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What is worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees? One baby stapled to 50 trees. What is worse than one baby stapled to 50 trees? One tree stapled to 50 babies.

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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Why was 1 afraid of 2? Because 234!

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have 5 fingers, The middle one's for you!

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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what do you call an overweight 80 year old white man trying to be a pimp ? Mr.Fredrickson

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What is white, long, and thin? A tablecloth

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I told a woman to make me a turkey sandwich. Of course she complied since I was at Subway.

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- Ask me if I'm a firetruck. - Are you a firetruck? - No.

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What did Grandma give her grandson Billy for Christmas? Scarring memories of sexual abuse.

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she was diagnosed with a flesh eating disease she was given 10 years to live.

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Women's rights.

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do you like fishsticks? yes they are quite delicious

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Yo Mommas so poor, when i went to her house and started to clear out the cob webs, she said why the heck are you tearing down the curtains.

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Incey-wincey Spider climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. But sadly, the spider had drowned. [L]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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