A black guy, an asian guy, and a white guy jump off a cliff, who lands first? Well, newton's first law states that every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. So it depends on who weighs the most.

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What do you call a pig sizzling in a pan? BACON!

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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Dad they tell me I am homosexual at school, what does it mean? Ask your boyfriend.

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Why are asians so good at maths? Because their culture exercises a hard work ethic in order for many of them to achieve high ranking jobs in order to support their families

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Whats red and hurts if it hits you in the face? a brick

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Why was the little girl crying? She got slapped with a porcupine.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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A sick patient asks a doctor, "will i be able to play my guitar?" The doctor replies, "of course you will be able to". "Good because that is my only form of income", says the patient.

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Waiter, waiter! There is a fly in my soup. Sorry about that sir, we will replace your order and make your meal complementary.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Womens' rights.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? What?

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Girl: Do you like me :D Boy: No Girl: =( Boy: You didn'y ask me if i loved you Girl: :D Do you love me Boy: Naw

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Yo' Mama so nice that she donated a kidney and saved a life

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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Q: is this the krusty krab? A: No this is patrick!

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What do you call a lawyer who came from the ghetto? Someone who did quite well for themselves despite coming from a tough area.

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What sits in a corner and travels all the way around the world? A stoner on hallucinogens.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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