I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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How are Steve Jobs and The iPhone the same? They got progressively thinner over time.

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Q: What do you call an elephant between two buildings? A: An elephant between two buildings, and the question of how the elephant got there

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Chuck Norris Isn't That tuff if he was he would come to my house and slam my head in they keyboaredehfiu;qbg;qebnuighqije9qp8ubwrsijpa

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey pal, why the long face?" The horse neighed.

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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Anne Frank.

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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What is white, wet, sticky, and gets squished out? Glue obviously, wait.... What were you thinking of?

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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Okay on a scale Casey Anthony to Jerry Pandusky how much do you love your kids?

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What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

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What is funnier than a barrel full of clowns? The holocaust.

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Hi, my name is Mark and I have dead babies in my garage... Just kidding. My name is not Mark.

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What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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theres safety in numbers? tell that to 6 million jews

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What do you get if you cross a black man with a sword? A dead black man

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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Where did Jimmy go after the bombing? Everywhere.

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why did the painter cry? he didnt have any paint left...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops