Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

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Q: Why didnt the dinosaurs cross the road? A: Because theyre all dead.

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What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman...

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So a woman is in the kitchen. And she makes the most delicious turkey salad for her 4 hungry children and her husband. They love Jesus

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A Jew walks into a bar. He sits down for about half an hour, enjoys some drinks and calls a taxi to take him home.

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My friends are like trampolines I have none

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Q: What do starving children in Africa eat? A: Nothing

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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How do you spell Madeleine Mccann? I A N

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? I don't know go check.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead-

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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Why can't the dinosaur eat M&M's? He is dead. He used to rule the Earth 65 Million years ago, though. Dinosaurs are reptiles. Whales are not. Meow?

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Methodist minister were playing golf. The Priest won by one stroke.

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset in her backyard Neither did she.

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How many atheists does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Its simple, if people do not have the willpower to follow their own desires, their own wishes, they do not deserve to. I have no desire to resurrect what is doomed to fail again and again, that is idealism, of course we would all have liked our own little society where people are encouraged to accept who they are and respect their own kin, regardless of race, culture and so on. But we did our best, we gave our teen years, and what did we end up with? If you think I have given up, you are right, I will help you do your thing however, but I will not stand beside you when the tide turns, had I joined you, we would all have been killed or imprisoned at best, all while "The Wizard" would have gone free maybe even with money and a medal.

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

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Q. Why did the monster have eight legs? A. I don't know.

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops