Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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What do Asians eat for dinner? Home cooked meals

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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why did the mans hair start to get shorter the barber was shaving it!

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What's long, hard, and full of semen? a penis.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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A Christian, a Jew and a Muslim fly in an airplane. They all reach safely to their destination and have a lovely vacation.

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Justin Beiber does not have a really good voice.

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Why are black people so good at sports? Because there black.

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Why was Timmy sad?

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Why does Lady GaGa have no hair down there? It's physically impossible to grow hair on your toenails.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? They can't, because feminists can never change anything!

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call an indian who is underwater? A scuba diver.

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women have rights

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What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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What is the best time to go to the dentist? During office hours 2 or 3 times a year to ensure optimal dental health and hygiene .

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What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

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What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

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Roses are bacon Violets are red I have a gun I'm not very original.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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