A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

Wanna hear a funny joke? Women's rights.

What did the the Priest do to the young alter boy? Blessed Him

What's the difference between a Ginger and a Brick? A ginger is a living organism.

What's the best part of having a doctor for a best friend? The sex.

Knock, knock. Come in.......

Mary had a little lamb, the doctor fainted.

When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

If you added up all of the grains of sand in all the beaches of the world, how many would there be? Anyone?

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

whats better than 24................. 25

If someone throws a fridge at the boy then they must be exceptionally strong because fridges weigh more than the average human can lift therefor he has a good future ahead of him but will have to live with the fact that he hurt a small child

what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: 9/11

whats funnier than drews nose .... ??

roses are brown, violets are brown, who the hell sh** on my garden?

Q: What did one tube of glue say to the other tube of glue? A:Nothing. They're tubes of glue. Inanimate objects, such as a tube of glue, however adhesive the contents of said object is, are not capable of advanced speech, let alone basic communication.

How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen snort? Enough to kill 3 and a half men.

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

why didnt you take a shower? because my house burnt down

A blind man walks into a bar. He orders a drink and after a couple hours he leaves. He's only color blind.

Nice weather we're having.

What has two heads and one body Conjoined twins

Matty B

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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