A man goes to lie down on a couch. His wife walks by and sees him, and asks, "what are you doing?" to which he replies, "lying down"

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What did the Polar Bear say when he slid off the iceberg? Radio

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch."

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Patrick is gay

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How can you tell your woman is cheating on you? When you witness her having sexual relations with another man that she is clearly enjoying.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms.

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Banana(s)

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You wanna hear a JOKE !?? Justin Bieber has a DICK !!

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Christopher Walken to a bar.

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Why do black people cuss so much? Because f#*% you.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bucket? With a blender. How do you get them out again? With Doritos.

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why did the chicken cross the road Why not

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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25

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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