sticks and stones may break my bones but cataracts will prohibit you from eyesight

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whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? ones delicious and the other is a watermelon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well no one really knows for sure

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. You eat them. get fat. Die.

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I am not so sure.

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What did Jeff say to the guy who stole his car? Can I have my car back.

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My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

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why cant sophie lifeguard safely because she cant swim that good

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Why do all black people have nightmares? Beacause we killed the only one with a dream..

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Why wasn't Justin Bieber allowed in the men's bathroom? It was closed for maintenance.

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What's the same between a plum and a rabbit? They are both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Why couldn't Larry walk his dog? Larry doesn't have a dog.

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There once was a man from Bangkok, who hated limericks.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red paint.

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How many years old is Chuck Norris? The same amount of years that it has been since he was born.

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

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Knock knock. Who's there? You're adopted.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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What do you call a pig with 57 nipples? 3 more nipples and you can call it a 60 nippled-pig

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How is the difference between a door? Its a chicken, because they don't have wheels.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops