what do you call a Ukranian woman without a visa? my maid

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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How many times have I told you not to do that? Fourteen.

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What do you call a one eyed hippo? A do-you-think-he-potamus

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what do you call cheese that isn't yours? cheese.

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John:Why couldn't the T-Rex clay his hands? Billy:Because his arms are too small! John:no he's extinct dumbass

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Do you know what a deaf guy says to a blind guy? God told me you'll see your path.

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Your argument is invalid, but I will allow you your opinion nonetheless.

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What is Bigfoots favorite food? Biscuits and Gravy.

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Adolf Hitler was a humanitarian.

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Yo mama so fat,we are all very concerned for her health.

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1, 2, buckle my shoe. 3, 4, shut the door. 5, 6, I'm gonna to cut you in your sleep.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino? Photoshop

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A really hot girl walks past 2 guys and the following conversation is produced... Guy1:damn! look at that ass! Guy2:yep I bet shit comes from that thing! When's the last time she had diarrhea?!

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Hellen Keller

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Why was the Black man Running? Because he was trying to get in shape for the Olympics.

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Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Roses are red Violtes are Blue Sugar is Sweet and salt is salty

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Yeah, just went for more ice, its hot as hell here, and yeah its the weather, I dont mind you using valium, is that the same as Xanax? My mum uses it sometimes, she is afraid of heights and well, has to fly a lot so its complicated, if you dont mind, I have always wanted to know more about you so shall we?

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An Asian oceanographer went scuba diving in the Pacific Ocean. Three days later the coast guard found his remains torn apart by sharks.

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Whatsthe best way to kill a blonde? Tell her theres a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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