what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Because he's black...

A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

What do you call Justin Beiber having sex with a woman? Gay

What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

Whats funny about ISIS? Nothing, you asshole, its terrifying.

Why do Jews circumcise their children.......because they like everything 10% off

Q.What's worse than running over a dog on the road? A.9/11

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

Why did Hellen Keller get hit by a car? She didn't see it coming. (TD)

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

Why is poop brown? Because you're a shit.

Why is the boy severely mentally scarred? He got raped.

What do you call 4 black people at a kfc? A family sitting down for there evening meal

What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

Wikipedia has no entry on "gullibility."

A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

How do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door and put it in. How to you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door, take out the elephant and put in the giraffe. Simba hosts an animal convention and all the animals attend except which? The giraffe. There is an alligator infested lake. How do you cross? Swim across. All the alligator are at the convention.

People are like cats, they both die when they're suffocated

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it lacks the cognitive reasoning ability necessary to determine that walking into oncoming traffic will surely result in death

Two gay men enjoy a wonderful second date together.

D is for diabetes, Cookie Monster, if you keep this up.

-Knock Knock. -Come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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