Two black guys jump off of a building; who falls first? The one that jumped first

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs, flotaing in the sea? Someone who will drown very soon.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

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Q: What sucks? A: Straws

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

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If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

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Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street, Paddy says to Murphy, "Alright Murphy? How's the kids?" Murphy says to Paddy, "Not bad, thanks."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go fishing.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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I only like NY as a friend.

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Once upon a time there was a girl who was going out with a boy 2 years older tan her. He was 16 and she was 14. Does it make him a pedo? cause everyone says he is.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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What is worse than peeling a orange that is chasing a dog with raining men? Meeting johnny appleseed

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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Akshaytiger World

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How do you get all the apples off of an apple tree? You pick them

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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