- Anti Joke

Two chemists walk into a bar. The first says, "I'd like some H2O" The second says "I'd like some H2O as well." Nobody dies.

An Irishman, a Mexican and an American sit a test. They all pass.

whats worse than stubbing your toe? being gang raped and then killed

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

What did the little girls who's parents died in a car accident get for her birthday? Foster Parents

Why can't stars marry? Because they are masses of incandescent gas and thus have no feelings.

R.I.P Ryan Dunn.

What did the 85 year old man do after having the sex of his life? He found out he had AIDS.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

Why did the Israeli military stop the helicopter raids to Gaza? They didn't. They continue them until there is nobody left.

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance? A: Put a little boogey in it!

Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

Why does my friend pick up trash? Because he is a garbageman

If you asked an alzheimer's patient what the meaning of life is, what answer would you get? Probably an answer that doesn't respond to the question but is bound to be hilarious.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What is blue and smells like red paint? Blue paint!

- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

Your mother is so fat that when she passes in front of the tv, I lose 3 seasons of the series

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris

Write your own pointless joke on http://pointless-jokes.tk

A Muslim get's on a plain. He is heading to Spain, and has a lovely time.

A man fuffers srom lysdexiea

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot