Stephen Hawkings walks into a bar and orders a beer. Just kidding, he can't walk.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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Why did the chicken cross the road it didn't, it was hit by a bus.

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A Knock, Knock B There's no door. What are you knocking on?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Well neither has he.

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What starts with P and ends in O-R-N? Popcorn.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? Because she had a seizure.

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You smell bad? Cool.

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why did the man cross the road? Because he needed to cross the road to reach his destination that was across the road

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Friend: "yo momma is so fat........ Me: My mom is dead

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Me.

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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Q. If you have $5, and a friend has $5, then how much money do you both have? A. You both have $5.

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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In Soviet Russia, Joke isn't funny!

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What do you call a lady that cleans? A cleaning lady.

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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The cow says MOO. Until you shoot it.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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Rob Bell

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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Contrary to popular belief- And this just in. My daughter has breast cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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