Me: "Dad! Can you make me a sandwich?" Dad: "Poof! You are now a sandwich."

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

A seal walks into a club.

roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

How do you make a homeless man cry? you throw away his trash.

Q: What came first, the chicken or the egg? A: The egg, dinosaurs reproduced long before chickens existed.

What do you call a pregnant girl? Your Ex

poo poo you you doo doo too too

Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

yo mamas so fat, she started working out

What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

Compton

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was thrown out of the way

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

What do you call a blue duck that speaks? A dream.

Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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