what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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What did Dela Ware? Nothing.

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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Knock, Knock... Who's there An abandoned baby

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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viki has 10 penises around her she eats 8 of them what does viki have? viki has AIDS

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whats funny? ebola and 911

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Why did the elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? Because it was attached to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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Do you want to hear a joke? Well, I do too.

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Why did Mary punch herself in the stomach? -she was pregnant

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What's worse than hearing another Holocaust anti-joke? The Holocaust.

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A mushroom walks into a crowded bar, the bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." Protestingly, the mushroom replies, "why not? I am a spore reproducing eukaryote!" Everyone stares as an awkward silence ensues.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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Don't think of granny porn

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What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

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When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

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a catholic priest and a young boy

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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