Why was 6 afraid of 7? *cause 7 8 9? NO cause 7 was a n**ga!

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A man calls customer service. A man in India helps him with his problem.

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Why did the girl not have a good New Year's? She was murdered on Christmas.

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I'm not here.

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OMG I NEED FRESH WATER

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are stuck on a deserted island when a genie appears and offers each of them one wish. Before making any decisions on what to wish for, the discuss what the smartest choice is. They return to the genie. The brunette wishes to return home, as does the blonde. The redhead wishes to be able to walk again. The genie denies the wish because to walk again she would have to wish for two legs. The genie leaves and the redhead eventually dies of dehydration as she cannot move and the water that she reaches from the ocean contains salt which dehydrates her faster than the water hydrates her.

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A man walks into a bar. The other two ducked, and then immediately called an ambulance.

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C'est l'histoire d'un français paumé qui se retrouve sur un site anglais.

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What do you get when you cross a cat with a giraffe? A genetically unstable animal that dies shortly after birth.

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whats funny? small ginger girls who die there head red, then it turns ginger again

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is black.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Why does god never feel anger? Because you need to exist to have feelings.

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I was lying about the wheels.

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What do you do if Zombies are chasing you and your friend? Trip the friend.

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How do you make lady gaga angry? punch her in the face and throw her off a cliff

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so an american, a Hispanic, and a Indian walk into a bar in Washington D.C, and the bartender says to the american "I'm sorry, but u have to leave.

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Q: What does a blond do with a box of crayons? A: Paints a picture

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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Whats better than finding a hot girl in your room? nothing

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What did the banana say to the peach? Dude, we can talk?

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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