Why are elephants big, grey, and wrinkled? Because if they were small, white, and round they'd be called aspirin.

Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she has no arms Why can't she get back up? Because she has no legs Why won't anyone help her up? Because she's a woman.

What do you call a blonde with half a brain? A person with light, yellowish hair who has a tragic genetic deformity.

What do you call a guy being followed by about 30 others with high powered rifles? A military general serving for his country.

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

Knock knock (No one is home)

what did the banana say to the apple i dont know because bananas dont talk

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

What do you call a black priest? Religious.

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

My aunt used to say slow and steady wins the race she died in a fire

What's green and if it falls out of a tree it kills you? A pool table.

Why can't santa fit down a chimney? No one can

memes

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

Trashcan!

Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

What do you call 10 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call 1000 black people on the moon? A problem What do you call the population of black people on the moon? A huge problem

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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