Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she didn't want to be late for work.

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A man eats a piece of fried chicken A chicken that was days before retirement and had a pregnant wife and two children to look after

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Her lips are not proportionally fit to her face.

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What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

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Why was the boy sad? He had just been in a terrible car accident in which he witnessed his entire family die painful, violent deaths, thus he suffered survivor's guilt. Also he dropped his ice cream.

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What iz stupid? Hibiyav

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I feel like am motherf***ing stuck in this dock and it makes me wana quack like what the hell is THAT!

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What's the best thing about having sex with twenty one year olds? The orgasm.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blood is red also Nothing else is blue

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call of duty is how they say it, calla duty is how we say it...

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Why was the boy with a green and blue collared shirt holding a bottle of rice dead at the bottom of the sea? Because he was pushed of a boat and couldn't swim.

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Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

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How do you make a black man cry? Stab his wife.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? FBI. The female body inspectors? No, the female bawdy inspectors.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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Dani Barton is a heart breaking 13 yr old.

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Two horses, a man with a tall bun, three lesbians, an African woman and another man wearing a clown suit come up to you in your work outfit and shriek:"Happy Casual Friday!" Okay, so maybe this went too far.

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a man walks into a bar it hurt

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What's blue and smells like yellow paint? Blue paint.

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The biggest lie on earth: I have read and agree to the terms of use.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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