wat did the candle say to the lighter? nothing candles cant speak because they are inamimate objects, even so i think a candle would just scream anyway, would you buy a screaming candle?

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Canada's army

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Q. Why was the cat brown? A. because it was a maori

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Why is that blond girl so dumb? Because she has fetal alcohol syndrome.

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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What happens when you combine a chainsaw and a baby? 30 years to life

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What do you cal a black boy with a bike? A thief

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I'm taken

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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What's worse than the front page of anti-joke.com? The 4945th page of anti-joke.com, as those jokes have been rated poorly by other users.

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What did the gravel say to the road? Give me the D.

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boy1: whats blue and goes blub blub? boy2:i dont know boy1:a blue blub blub boy1: whats green and goes blub blub? boy2:a green blub blub boy1:no. there is no such thing called a green blub blub

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Roses are red,nuts are brown,skirts go up,pants go down,body to body, skin to skin, when its stiff, stick it in,the longer its in, the stronger it gets,it goes in dry, comes out wet, its comes out dripping and starts to sag Its not what you think its a...Teabag

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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How does a blind bit of difference differ from one that can see?

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What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

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Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

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What do you call a puppy with no eyes? Ugly,

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Why can't Stevie Wonder drive? There is no steering wheel at the back of the bus.

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Wanna hear something half funny 34.5

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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