what's worse than one scoop of ice crea falling on the floor? - the holocaust what's worse than two scoops of ice cream falling on the floor? - nothing

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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Whats the difference between peanut butter and jam? I can't peanut butter my dick into someones ass

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How do you get them out? Tortilla chips

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Whats big red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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John Hammond from 'Jurassic Park' looks like KFC's Colonel Sanders. Which is ironic, since chickens are descended from dinosaurs...

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When life gives you lemons...you probably just found lemons.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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what do you call a dog with no legs? doesnt matter what you call him, he aint coming!

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a light bulb? One jew to screw in the light bulb.

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A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

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I cat tried to jump over a fence It was electrified

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Knock Knock Who is it? Me, I forgot my keys on the way out oh ok...

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Why couldn't little Johnny drive the tractor? Because he had no arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because he was a potato

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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roses are red, violets are blue, hey reed and steven, we should hang out

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What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A rape victim.

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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cow: MooooooooMoooooooo trafic light: beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep man:AHHHHHHHHHHH GET THIS FAT THING OF, OF ME NOW cow: MOOOOOOO (you shouldnt of said that or i wouldnt of swallowed you) man:TELL MY WIFE I LOVE HER (L.W)

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing...he found it.

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Don't think of granny porn

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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