A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Why didn't Peter get anything from his parents for Christmas? His parents have been dead for 5 years

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I walked into town today and bumped into a butcher, a baker and a candlestick maker. It meant nothing to me because I was never read nursery rhymes as a child due to my parents both dying before I was conceived

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How do you leave a gay guy in suspense? How? ......................

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from sky-scraper Q:he dies

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What did the cow say to the other cow? How should i know? Go ask them.

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the your face joke

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Wolf Pussy

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Ask me if I am a potato Are you a potato No.

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Question : Why did the boy need to change his pants? Answer: During recess, the little boy was running to fast and fell on the ground. Then kid he has been bullying pissed on his leg.

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Why cant Michael Jackson take flying lessons? Because he overdosed on pain killers, and is now dead.

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What's blue and can't have sex? A blueberry

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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What is this a book??!!! What am I supposed to do...... READ IT?????!!!!!!!!!

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roses are flowers violets are too violets are purple not fuing blue

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Ask me if I´m an orange. Are you an orange? No I? a person.

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Have you ever tried ethiopian food? No. Neither have they

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A black man walks into a store and grabs something off of a shelf. He walks briskly towards the door and pauses, looking sneakily left and right to make sure nobody else is around. He also looks and sees that the security camera is not facing him. Seeing as nobody is watching him, he quickly turns towards the counter beside the door and pays for the item with his own debit card, knowing that nobody can see him enter his PIN.

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See you ******* dogface! All right? You're a compulsive *********** sit on that swivel! Stop swearing!

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What did the scientist say to the postman? So your a postman?

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Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

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How do you torture Helen Keller? Leave the plunger in her toilet with the handle greased.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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