Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

Trashcan!

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get surgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

holly, a japanese boy and an american boy walked into a internet cafe. They then began to play runescape so they could train together and trade rare items.

Penis.

Q: what's brown and rhymes with snoop? A: Dr. Dre

what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

Mean while... at Jerry Sandusky's house

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

why did the boys voice get so deep? He just went through puberty

There is a secret society known as Grandma Elbow. What happened to the boy who tried to leave it? All of his limbs were ripped off and fed to a man eating shark by the name of Nigel Tommy Baker. It didn't hurt that much because the boy was forced into eating the waste products of a donkey before this happened. NEVER LEAVE GRANDMA ELBOw!

Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

roses are red, violets are violet

no u

Q: Whats more fun that nailing babys to a fence? A: Ripping them off.

A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

A guy comes to a doctor and says: - Doctor, lately I'm having this dream where I kill my father and rape my mother. What does it mean? - Nothing.

A:Your so fat that you take up the hole room B:If i am fat,Then i can crush you down thin head!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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