What did Justin Bieber say when he felt funny? Wheres my tampon

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Wanna hear a good joke? I don't.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

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What is the difference between my elbow and my penis? I Cant lick my elbow

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Whats worse than 1 dead baby in a bag? Ten dead babies in one bag.

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a man walked into a bar, however the bar was in Pakistan so he got shot by terrorists

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What's small, yellow and great with numbers? A yellow calculator

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Anne Frank.

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I was dropped on my head as a baby, kjhgfiehcgbfbjebfiuheggfcug

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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What did Tarzan say when the monkeys came over the hill? Hey look, the monkeys are coming over the hill.

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Wanna Hear A Joke ? Afgan

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What do you call your fist? Trying to talk to an appendage would indicate that you suffer from mental issues stemming from dysentery or lack of oxygen, and as a medical professional, I would recommend seeing a specialist.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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What do you call a Mexican named Chicee? Chicee

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? KFC was closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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