A man walks into a bar and says, "Ouch!" The other bar patrons ask him what is wrong, to which he replies, "I stubbed my toe."

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Why was 9 afraid of 1? Because when dialed together, an emergency call was most likely coming and 9 is very sensitive to those types of moments

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There are two muffins sitting in an oven the first muffin turns to the other and says "Its pretty hot in here." the second muffin jumps back and yells "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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Whats worse than finding a black man in your bed? After you sleep with him, he tells you he has AIDS.

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What happens when you shoot a black man? You go to prison because murder is a criminal offense.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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what is pink stinky? your butthole lol

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You might be a redneck if you are a an uneducated white farm laborer from the south.

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who hooked up with Sinead Walker? • Liam Findlay

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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Why didn't Jimmy's mum come to the school play? She had a heart attack

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What do we want? Chips!! When do we want them? Chips

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knock knock? whos there? eatmop. eatmopwho? HAHAHAH EAT MY POO

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What did Batman say to Robin befor they got in the car? Get in the car.

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What did my mom get for christmas? My dad, Dick in a box. My dad's name is Richard.

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Lil' Wayne

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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What's Worse then an apple with a worm? The holocaust

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Two black guys walk into a bar and arrest the under age drinkers

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Why did the math teacher cry during 6th period? He was held at gunpoint.

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Why did the red head smoke a lot of meth? He had extreme psychological disorders due to years of abuse from peers and even family. He also had severe ADHD and had an extremely addictive personality type which made him succeptable to drug abuse. After years of therapy and failed family interventions, he dies from a meth OD.

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Roses are red Violets are red Daisies are red Tulips are red Magnolias are red Weeds are red Carnations are red Crap, my gardens on fire.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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