Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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helen keller's dad put a plunger in the toilet and left it there. helen then went to use the bathroom....

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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whats worse than 1 bee sting? 2 bee stings. whats worse than 2 bee stings? 3 beestings

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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I always tell people " I have the heart of a child! " Then I continue "It's in a jar on my desk"

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a cheese grader? How the hell should i know?

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What's funnier than a bus full of burning babies? Nothing.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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How do you find the population of Mexico? You take a census count by mail and/or a door to door questionnaire.

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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a man runs into a bar and screams, he is sent to a doctor for a minor concussion and receives some stitches. He recovers over time and gets on with his life.

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what did the ruler say to the other ruler your a ruler

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why did the guy drop his umbrella........ because he was getting raped.

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like for a handjob.

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Why did the kid get athsma? Genetics.

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what is black and white and red all over a shot to death zebra

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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What do you get when an Asian and a black person have a baby? Black and yellow. Black and yellow. Black and yellow. :)

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A blonde is a Homo sapien (Latin for knowing man), a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans . A mosquito on the other hand is a common insect in the family Culicidae (from the Latin culex meaning midge or gnat).

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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