This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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Whats worse than getting mugged? Getting mugged twice.

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Why'd Sally fall of the swing She had no arms Knock knock Who's there Not sally

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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roses are red violets are blue i dont really care about you

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He had a huge appendage; his arm has been swollen from birth. What a bummer

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what did the frog say to the princess? nothing because frogs do not possess sufficient linguistic skills to communicate with humans

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Poopsack Jones

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

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The President, the Pope, and a small child are in a plane when the pilot announces that they are about to crash. The plane hits the ocean. They quickly remember that there is a life jacket under their seats and they promptly put it on, but wait to inflate it (by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs) it until after exiting the cabin.

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anti jokes are like dogs They both rhyme with Maths

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Why didn't the blonde laugh at my blonde joke? She's dead. She should of laughed at my jokes more.

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What do you cal a thousand black people swimming to Africa with a Jew under each arm? Waterboarding.

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Potato

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Has anyone told you, you look fat today?" "Because you don't.

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Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

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A man walked into the bar and ordered a drink, drank it then stood up and left remembering that he once had a drinking problem and had overcome it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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