That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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Why are cemetaries gated? Typically, to prevent vandalism and the emotional trama it inflicts on the deceaseds' families.

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knock knock go away ok

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because it was a rather hot day and his attention was momentarily directed towards something else.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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A man was building a new kitchen for his wife. Just as he was installing the sink, his wife comes running into the kitchen and starts cursing. "What's the matter?" he asks. "Don't you like the new sink?" His wife replies, "I love it. But come quick, there's a spider in the living room!" The man walks over with a paper towel, grabs the spider, and throws it into the garbage. The wife looks at the husband, smiling, and says, "Thanks."

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What did the blind man do in the dark room? Nothing, he couldn't see.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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What is brown and sticky?

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What do you call a bird with wings? Redundant.

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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Why do girls wear perfume? Because they smell and they're ugly

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What did the pornstar say to the priest? i DO porn

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This is my rifle, this is my gun, one is for shooting, the other is decorative.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops