Friends are like trees. They fall down when you hit them with an ax.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding half a worm? Biting into an apple and slicing your mouth on a razorblade

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BWAT

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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How do you fit 100 babies into a bowl? You use a blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos scoops.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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Do you want to hear a joke? Yes? Well that's probably why you came to this site.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he was forced, along with thousands of his poultry counterparts, on a march to meet their imminent death at a mass slaughterhouse. Upon being beheaded and processed, the meaty corpse was delivered to a local grocery store and cooked into a wholesome family dinner.

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Q: What is green, blue, white and red? A: They're colors

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Q: How do you get a clown to stop smiling? A: Hit it with an axe

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How many Grand Jurists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on if it was a cop that snuffed out the light bulb.

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What did the boy do when he was cold? Got a blanket.

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What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

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How does Michael J. Fox like his Martini? With an Olive

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What is the biggest lie in the universe? I love you.

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What did the cat say to the dog? "Meow."

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Kid: Hey,can i have all the answers to this test please. Teacher: What the hell kid im the fricken teacher.

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Microsoft Windows

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Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

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Why couldn't JImmy walk to school? A:Jimmy is in a wheelchair.

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The seven dwarfs were in a sauna feeling happy. So Happy got up and left.

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Roses are red, Violets are not blue, they're violet, which is why they're called violets.

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what is funnier then a man with AIDS? -nearly anything as AIDS is a serious medical condition and could be potentially lethal

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Why did the chicken cross the road? As this question does not provide neccesary information, a plausible answer cannot be found.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops