what do you call a slave with a dream of being free? whatever his name happens to be

What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Why cant stevie wonder see? He is blind

What was Jonas's big success? Being Steven Spielbergs lead actor in his famous 1982 film.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Beauty is only skin deep Well of course it is, muscles, bones and tissues look disgusting.

scenario: 12 men in bikinis throwing snowballs at each other in Africa. Question: Who ate all the world's giant pears? Answer: It was an allergy to noses!!

Why did a monkey fall out of a tree? He was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of a tree? Gravity. Why did the third monkey fall out of a tree? He was stapled to the second monkey.

9 little monkeys jumping on the bed... One fell off and died!

Q: What word contains all the letters in the alphabet? A: A made-up word, probably.

I was purple once. I took a shower later that day.

Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

What are the black specks in birdshit called? That's birdshit too.

What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

Q: Why was Seven afraid of Eight? A: He was octophobic.

Albert and Hunter, Forever in love < 3

What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Two young men ignoring societies expectations of them and instead choosing to play the sport they enjoy the most.

what do you call an icy road? dangerous.

Where did Sally go after the explosion? Everywhere.

What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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