Why did the black guy smell so bad? Because he accidently jumped into a pool of garbage disposal.

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shut up

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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There once was a man from Nantucket. He said it was a great place to retire.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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why don't you make like a tree. and get out of here

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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A seal walks into a club.

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How did Hitler die? He saw his gas bill

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem make no sense microwave.

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So two friends walk into a bar. One says to the bartender, "Get me a Miller Lite please." The bartender says, "Sure." The other friend says, "Get me a Cosmopolitan please." The bartender stares at him and says, "That is not the drink I was expecting you to order, but I respect your decision."

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

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Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in a village atop a hill. Citizens were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from the age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest. Fear in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He said to himself, there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's Magical Basement. Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonny's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a carton of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took the carton of Ribena, crumpled it up, spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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Today i told myself i would write a joke... Joke... ????????????LAUGH!????????????

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a large dog on its side of the road attempting to harass it.

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What's worse than being swallowed by a blue whale? Being swallowed by a bule whale with herpes.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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